How Not to Train, Part Unknown…
Every once in a while it’s worth resurrecting an old series, if only because I keep generating fresh material for it. In a previous blog life, I ran an occasional feature called “How Not to Train,” documenting the many creative ways I managed to sabotage Ironman and marathon prep—drinking the night before races, convincing myself a Cheetos salad (a large plate of Cheetos) counted as recovery nutrition, that sort of thing. It’s been a while since I’ve needed that category. Until now.
On January 11th, I posted my training update and casually mentioned that I had tripped and eaten it during a run. Nothing dramatic. Sidewalk, gravity, me. The scabs are healing nicely, thank you for asking. The elbow, however, has been a different story.
It didn’t hurt much right after the fall. In fact, I don’t remember thinking about it at all. But over the last two weeks, it’s been getting progressively worse. Probably didn’t help recovery that I kept swimming as if nothing happened, and then went skiing in Utah. In hindsight, that may not have been the recommended rehab plan.
This morning was the tipping point. I woke up and couldn’t straighten my arm for about an hour. That’s when I finally waved the white flag and made an urgent care appointment. Which—credit where due—I’m glad I did. Sometimes you just want to know what’s actually going on, if only to confirm that you’re not being dramatic.
Turns out, my arm is broken. Has been for about two weeks now.
So no, it wasn’t my imagination. Also, having never broken a bone in my life, I guess I didn’t really know what “broken” is supposed to feel like. Apparently, it feels like something you can ignore, swim on, ski on, and then eventually regret.
It’s a radial head fracture, non-displaced, which is doctor-speak for “yes, it’s broken, but no, you’re not winning any medals for it.” Not that bad. Clearly not that bad if I’ve been swimming and skiing on it. The doctor said 6–12 weeks to heal. I’m generously counting two of those weeks as already completed. Training when sore? I can do that. Training with a broken arm? Yeah, probably wasn’t a good idea.
They sent me home with a prescription for Aleve, which raises the eternal question: why don’t they just say “take more regular Aleve”? It’s like when my wife gave birth and they handed her 800 mg of ibuprofen. You didn’t invent a new drug here. You just stapled authority to a dosage. Just tell her to take four pills.
Anyway, lesson learned. Or not. We’ll see. IMWI Base Phase officially starts on February 16th. I’ll run and bike (but not put weight on that arm) until then, and then add back swimming. The bone is healed when I say it’s healed. I’m giving it until 2/16.*
*Yup, those will probably be words I regret when my arm is permanently bent because it heals badly.