There are a few things that reliably trigger my inner old man. Celebrity culture is near the top of the list.

Nothing makes me roll my eyes faster than a sporting event cutting away from the actual game so the broadcast can show me who is sitting courtside. I do not care that Timothée Chalamet is at the Knicks game. I do not care that Suni Lee is there too. I especially do not care that the announcers are treating this like breaking news.  (link)

“Look who’s here tonight!”

Yeah, thanks. I was actually trying to watch basketball.

I can’t stand celebrity treatment at sporting events. I can’t stand the courtside seats, the camera pans, the awkward waving, the constant need to remind us that famous people are in the building. I can’t stand the sideline access, the locker-room access, the handshakes with players, the little manufactured moments so everyone can post them on Instagram later.

It’s the exact opposite of those old US Weekly headlines: “Celebrities, they’re just like us!”

No, they absolutely are not.

They are treated completely differently from the rest of us. They get the best seats, the special entrances, the backstage passes, the private rooms, and the access nobody else gets. Why? Because they act in movies. Or sing songs. Or have enough followers to qualify as “important.”

Meanwhile, the guy who worked a double shift as an ER nurse? Upper deck.

The firefighter who ran into a burning building last week? Watching from home.

The teacher who spent all day trying to convince teenagers that deadlines matter? Illegal stream and a beer.

No surgeon is getting walked courtside because he nailed a triple bypass on Tuesday.

No paramedic is getting shown on the jumbotron while the announcers gush over their outfit.

No soldier is getting front-row playoff seats because they served three deployments.

And before someone says, “Well, celebrities can afford it,” that’s not even the point. I’m not mad they have money. I’m mad we’ve collectively decided fame itself deserves worship.

We built a whole culture around pretending the famous are more interesting, more valuable, and somehow more worthy of attention than everyone else. And sports broadcasts are one of the worst offenders. I tuned in to watch the game, not a live episode of TMZ.

I know this makes me sound like a grumpy old man yelling at clouds, and honestly, fair enough. Put it on my tombstone.

Here lies Ross.
He hated celebrity culture.
And he really didn’t care who was sitting courtside.

Still true.