Lock It Like You Mean It…
You know what I don’t understand? We have two bathrooms at work. Each one requires a key to open. Fine. That’s normal. But inside each bathroom is not one, but two locks:
- A slidey lock (classic, reliable, like your grandma’s screen door).
- A turny lock that, when engaged, lights up the outside like Times Square and proudly announces: “IN USE.”
It is the Cadillac of locks. The HIPAA of bathroom privacy. A lock that literally communicates your presence to the world.
And yet… nobody uses it.
Instead, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve unlocked the bathroom door, key halfway in, only to hear the desperate, panicked cry of a co-worker from within: “I’m in here!”
Oh, you’re in there? Funny, I couldn’t tell. You know how I could have known? If you had turned the freaking lock designed for this exact situation.
I swear, if I got a dollar for every “I’m in here!” scream, I’d be a millionaire by now. Wanna bet they don’t use their turn signals on the road either?
It’s not hard. One motion, one flick of the wrist. Twist. Done. Problem solved. It’s easy as pie.
But no, apparently that’s too much to ask. Instead, we live in a society where bathroom roulette is a daily game. Will the door be locked? Will Karen be inside mid-squat? Will you both leave traumatized? Place your bets.